


A Little Comfort

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Star Trek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 09:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16851187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Space, where nobody can hear you scream but apparently your Captain can hear you silently sobbing from three decks away. The question is, what is he going to do about it.





	A Little Comfort

You had been all right for a while, even though you might have kicked this stupid anxiety’s ass but then it came back like a fucking tsunami. During the day you could smile and pretend everything was fine, that your insides weren’t threatening to implode, that every noise was just a little too loud, that it felt as if the walls were closing in. It was kinda working. True, you spent most of your night curled up in a ball and crying, but during the day nobody seemed to have noticed the dark circles beneath your eyes or your lack of appetite. That was until you practically ran face first into your Captain. You had been rushing down the corridor, eager to get back to your station after being called to medical and hadn’t noticed Kirk doing practically the same thing in the opposite direction. You collided and as the apologies began to flow automatically from you he placed a hand on your arm causing you to pause mid-sentence and look up into those enchanting blue eyes of his. Seriously, how the hell were they so blue? “Hello.” He said simply and you could feel the tears begin to well up behind your eyes. In a panic you simply nodded, averting your gaze, and scooted around him to scurry off on your way. This was not the reaction Jim had expected and as he watched you go he wondered how he had never noticed you before.

From that moment on he had you under surveillance. Whenever you entered the room he was in his eyes automatically darted over to you and over the next few weeks those little things you were so glad nobody had picked up on had not gone unnoticed by an increasingly concerned Captain. He didn’t want to ask you outright, in fact, he hadn’t exchanged a single word with you since that brief hello. So, Jim being Jim went to quiz Bones.

“Medical information is confidential and even if it wasn’t I’m not about to give out personal information Jim.” McCoy pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow at Kirk. This wasn’t the first time the Captain had taken a shine to a crew member and attempted to glean a little more information to improve his chances. “If you’re so interested then go talk to the girl. Crazy I know but a little communication can go a long way.”

“This from the most emotionally guarded man on this ship, and that’s saying something.” Kirk folded his arms across his chest and looked appraisingly at Bones, wondering if there was any way he could get his friend to change his mind.

“You do realise I can and will use this hypo on you.” The cantankerous medic mused as he rolled his fingers over his implement of choice. Excusing himself, Jim backed out of the room and bounded down the corridor wondering what he could do to find out more about you. 

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realised he had been wandering aimlessly and when he did stop to figure out where he was Jim discovered he was deep within the living quarters' area. Furrowing his brow, he wondered how he had ended up here when a noise caught his attention. If the corridor hadn’t been so deathly quiet he may have missed what sounded like a sob. Standing frozen to the spot he tilted his head and strained to listen. Again, there was a stifled sob and he turned towards it. After a few minutes of this, he found himself outside a door and now he was certain someone was in distress he decided that, as he was the Captain of this ship, he should just go in and make sure everything was alright. 

The door opened but you didn’t even react. Curled up on your bed in a tight ball, your arms wrapped around yourself as you cried into your pillow you were unaware that someone was there. The room was gloomy but Kirk could make out your shape gently heaving with each breath. Not knowing who he had stumbled across cautiously moved closer and knelt down by the bed. Carefully placing a hand upon your shoulder, he quietly spoke. “Hey.” Your head shot up and the surprise on both of your faces as you recognised the other had your panic rising. Scrambling to sit up you wanted to scream, to yell for him to get out, but you couldn’t make a sound. Instead, the sobbing just increased ten-fold until Kirk began to wonder where all the water came from. Moving to sit next to you on the bed he pulled you into his arms and rested his chin on top of your head. Making soft calming noises he ran his hand in small circles over your arm and you pressed your face against his chest. The warmth of him was reassuring and you could hear his heartbeat as you tried to match his breathing. Jim sat there silently wondering what the hell could have happened to put you in this state. He had been the cause of many a girl in tears but comforting one was a whole different matter. Feeling useless and a little out of his depth he asked if you needed anything, should he go get Bones? The furious shaking of your head and the death grip you had on his shirt made him give out a low chuckle. “Okay, no medical. Has someone upset you?” again, a shake of your head and he frowned. That was him all out of ideas. “You want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly and once again was greeted by a shaking of your head. “Okay.” He said quietly, pulling you closer to him with one arm while he grabbed your blanket with the other. Wrapping you up like a burrito he sat and held you until he felt your fall asleep. It took him a little while longer to leave, he still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of all this and he was as confused as hell. 

Wanting to help you somehow, he sought out Leonard again. Using a whole load of ‘hypotheticals’ that the good doctor could see right through he discovered that there was a good chance the answer he was searching for was anxiety. Kirk spent a good few hours discussing this with Bones, what caused it, what could be done about it, what to do if someone was having an anxiety attack. Armed with all the information he could get he decided to let you sleep and drop in on you tomorrow.

Jim showed up at your door at the same time each evening like clockwork with a warm drink and a few film suggestions. He would take a deep breath and show himself in only to find you curled up on your bed, your head buried in your pillow. Each time he would place the drinks down carefully and slowly, cautiously, he would kick off his shoes and sit on your bed leaning against the headboard before pulling you into him. He would sit there in silence just stroking your hair until he felt your breathing become steady and then he would encourage you to sit up and drink whatever delight he had brought for you that night. He would tell you about his day, unload a little of his stress where he could and you would just listen. Not in a distracted way, he could actually feel your interest in what he was saying. Jim would then put on a film and just hold you until he felt your head grow heavy and a gentle snore emits from you. With a fond smile, he kissed the top of your head, tucked you in and then left. 

Time marched as it tends to do and with each visit from the concerned Captain you found the black cloud that seemed to follow you disperse somewhat. Little things here and there were indicators that you were coming out the other side and you could breathe a little easier. You realised you no longer needed to fake laugh when someone made a joke and just the thought of a certain blue-eyed boy caused the corners of your mouth to twitch up, bringing a genuine smile to your lips.

As Jim walked into your room one evening he realised something was different. You weren’t in your usual position on the bed and for one moment it threw him completely, he even wondered if he had the right room, and then you appeared from the behind him with a warm beverage in your hand and a bright smile on your face. Ever since you had woken up that morning you hadn’t felt the yawning abyss of desolation that usually greeted you. In fact, you would say that today had been a good day. “Hi.” You smiled directly at him and his heart skipped several beats. Your eyes lit up with such joy and any hint of fatigue seemed to have long since disappeared and it struck him again just how beautiful you were.

“Hi.” He finally managed to breathe out as you watched him in curious amusement.

“You want a drink? How was your day?” He could do nothing but stare after you as you wandered away to the replicator to get him a drink. It was as if you were a totally different person and it wasn’t that he didn’t like this, you being happy an all, he just felt a little redundant. Over the past few weeks, he had actually quite liked being needed, especially being needed by you, on such an intimate level. Of course, he knew he was needed by the entire crew but holding you in his arms, being there to let you know everything would be okay, he hadn’t realised how much he had needed that too. 

“Well, I… I should go since you don’t need me?” his words came out more of a question than a statement, a part of him still hopeful that you did need him as much as he had grown to need you.

“No!” The word left your lips rather quickly and your cheeks flushed a little. “I mean, if there’s somewhere else you’d rather be then…”

“No. Nowhere I’d rather be.” He smiled brightly at you, taking the drink from your hands and making his way over to his usual position on the bed. Kicking off his shoes he relaxed back against the headboard. “So, what are we watching tonight?”


End file.
